1439 – Kissing is banned in England
1935 – 1st automatic parking meter in US installed, Oklahoma City, Ok
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!
“Truly religious people are resigned to everything, even to mediocre poetry.”
— Oscar Wilde
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The Church of Ineffable Stupidity proudly presents the
‘SCILLLY SCIENCE SCUNDAY SQUIZ’
1) Stem cell legislation:
a) will permit expanded federal funding on existing embryos that would otherwise be trashed
b) is supported by 80% – the rational majority – of the United States public
c) is supported by all democrats and a majority of GOP in congress
d) will be vetoed by the president because he hears voices in his head
e) all of the above
f) none of the above
2) undifferentiated Stem cells
a) are thought to hold the key to curing and preventing dozens of disasterous diseases
b) will help ease the debilitating conditions like Parkinsons’, Alzheimers, diabetes,
c) will help researchers learn how to replace or repair paralyzed spinal cords
d) may cure auto-immune problems like AIDS, LUPUS and other horrific conditions
e) can never help the president with whatever psychiatric/psychological ailments from which he suffers
f) are being held hostage by a tiny, loud, irrational minority for political purposes
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3) Stem cells are:
a) undifferentiated cells with the ability to divide and differentiate, allowing the regrowth of damaged organs
b) come from the stems of the famous Pear Cactus
c) are found in the tail fins from stem sharks, an endangered species
d) are harvested from the African Booboo tree, a rare, conifer that thrives near oil fields
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4) Stem cell research
a) has been made almost impossible because of petty political ploys by the White House
b) will destroy the bone marrows of white males, and render Viagra ineffective to strengthen other types of bones
c) is an aphrodisiac effective in females
d) has caused the latest war between Lebanon and Israel
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5) systems biology is:
a) the field of study in which the integration of biological systems and living organisms is studies to determine how they interact
b) is different than molecular biology, in that systems Biology studies the health of computer networks, while the other field studies baby moleculars.
c) the study of successful online gamblers’ sex lives
d) is the illegal use of undifferentiated embryonic stem cells.
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6) Nuclear physics is
a) the study of mite-sized nukulars, critical to the President’s foreign policy march towards world war
b) studies the nucleus of the atom, including protons, neutrons, and the sub-atomic particles which create them.
c) is a sinful, god-hating method of interfering with the one true science, The Blessed Study of Creationism
d) is the study of how clean electrical power can be generated by the careful marriage of positrons and their opponents, the negatrons.
e) do not exist. They don’t even exercise as often as the president, so even if they did exist, they would be not worth mentioning.
7) Cytokinesis is the study of
a) the mental transformation of tricycles into bicycles as children age and grow
b) animal cell growth and reproduction describing the pinching off of separated nuclei
c) mechanical transportation of Cytos, a paralyzed ancient Greek god who previously banned stem cell research to punish his wife.
d) is an heathen myth and does not exist. See Luke 3:14