The Church of Ineffable Stupidity: 7/30/06

In 1844, the New York Yacht Club was founded.

In 1975, former Teamsters union president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in suburban Detroit


“The historical content of the Bible must naturally submit to the same criticism as all other historical material, without prejudice to scholarship.”
— Thorstein Veblen

The Church of Ineffable Stupidity will hold off on its Silly Science Sunday Quiz, and replace it temporarily with a Political Science Sunday Quiz:

1) Isreal killed 37 children hiding in an apartment building because:
a) They were there
b) the US built F-16 were loaded with US supplied missiles, and don’t land easily with missiles still attached
c) the laser guided missile was just a practice shot
d) Israel wanted to turn these dead christian children into future IDF fighters against H’zbullah

2) Condi Rice’s trip was cancelled today because:
a) because her inane incompetence is so striking that Beirut’s survivors did not want to puke in her face
b) she forgot her shoes
c) Lebanon could not guarantee her safety, even with the 235 heavily armed, secret service- controlled, paramilitary she now travels with
d) Her refusal to call for a cease-fire before, while approving a speed up of US re-supply of laser guided missiles has led to vast anger throughout the middle east against the US
e) George Bush wanted her to practice a speech about the good news from Baghdad

3) Israel withdrew from a border town in Lebanon because:
a) H’zbullah is far stronger than US and Israeli intel suggested
b) Israeli generals used the Don Rumsfeld battle plan, guaranteeing a fiasco
c) People fighting for their lives, their kids and their own land tend not to want to give it up easily.
d) Condi Rice is deeply saddened that they did not maintain their presence in the Lebanese town.
e) George Bush wanted more time to party with American Idol stars.

4) There is little news being reported from Iraq because:
a) things are going so well there, and the MSM has an unspoken moratorium against good news about Iraq
b) with 5,000 leaves cancelled, a redeployment of 10,000 more and an increase of 3,700 troops to Baghdad, they are waiting for some – any – the slightest bit of good news to report before they allow MSM in
c) the fresh dead bodies piling up each day in Iraq caused massive road blocks, preventing the MSM from getting their stories out to their editors.
d) the lack of electricity and water meant that all journalists (those not accidently shot by coalition forces) have decided to stay indoors in the green zone. That and the mortar shells falling in the green zone.
e) No news is good news. Really. Trust me. Mission accomplished.

5) Global warming will finally be known to be a fact when:
a) private golf courses are banned from watering their fairways and putting greens
b) people begin to march on the mansions of the CEOs of Exxon, BP, Amoco and others.
c) people begin frying their fresh egs and bacon breakfasts out on their sidewalks.
d) people march on Washington DC to complain about energy policies and insane profits for oil companies
e) other

6) US muddle east policies concocted by Bush and Criminals, will lead to:
a) democracies will blossom throughout the region, starting with Lebanon’s democratically elected parliament.
b) Iran, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Yemen, Kuwait and Pakistan will be so angered by bone-headed US policies that they will set aside Shia-Sunni disputes and begin an oil boycott of US and its two remaining allies, Poland and Luxemburg.
c) all arab nations will tuck tail, bow to Condi Rice and PM Olmert and proclaim that the US was right, they were wrong, and PLEASE could we do to them what we did to IRaq and install our version of democracy and freedom in their own lands.
d) mass starvation throughout Lebanon because of Israel’s policy of targetting supply lines bringing food, water and medicine to 700,000 refuges; millions of children in Iraq will die because of a lack of food, medicines and vaccines; Condi and George will do a televised dance in the Oval office, proclaiming mission accomplished.
e) other.

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