The Onion Factor

In some future history book, or more likely, an iHistory App, a century from now, people will look back at our era and point to us, right here and now, as the day. To be more precise, “THE DAY!”  Historians, social scientists, psychologists and other mental health experts of all stripes will look at all of the events transpiring, exchange looks, nod wisely and agree, “This is When The Onion Factor Began.”

With all apologies to the Onion, when I skimmed over my daily papers (yes, I still like the rubbed ink smears, especially with cross words, and even crosser numbers like Sudoku), then switched to my early morning news feeds, I realized something that jarred me rather fiercely.

I could no longer tell the difference between the Onion and actual media outlets.

Here’s are just a few examples:

1) Freedumb works on porn?
You all know by now who Freedom Works is – a ultra-reich wing outlet that the Koch Brothers and others have used to astroturf the TeaBuggerers. Their performance in the last election cycle ranged between pathetic and laughable, and still their presence is like a rotting elephant’s corpse in the corner. Their very threat of interference leaves formerly solid re-election bets like Mitch McConnell shivering in their britches. Because McConnell doesn’t scream “NO!” loudly enough in Pres. Obama’s face.

The TeaBuggered billionaire outlet, proving again that money and wisdom rarely mix, apparently has a bit of a PR problem.

First, Dick Armey resigned, made threats, then walked away with $6 million in hush money from them. Next, we learn that Matt Kibbe, Freedom Works’ president, used FW resources, staff and money to “write” a book while he was supposedly working for FW. He then spent six figures of FW money to raise the book’s profile artificially (Amazon, etc) and kept all of the book’s revenues for himself.

In most states, that’s considered criminal fraud.

Amazingly, it gets better. They invested untold sums of money in video-taping a porn flick. Yes, the organization that proudly calls itself a natural ally of American Family Association and christian conservatives around the country, FW actually filmed a porn flick involving a female in a panda suit servicing a Faux Hilary Clinton with oral sex.

As I said, we have achieved the Onion Factor.

No matter how badly they act, no matter how gruesome their crimes, the LAPD manage to outdo themselves.

I abhor violence, and the idea of a crazy former cop running around kidnapping and shooting people is extremely disturbing. BUT – they found this guy’s wallet and ID at another crime scene. They corner this rat, and burn down the cabin – with him inside. And then, they claim that his drivers license helped ID him? This guy loses his wallet and ID, there’s a state wide police hunt going on, and he worries about being stopped while driving without his license? AND the license survived the fire? AND they just happened to bring dental records before the fire started “to help with ID?”

Everyone, EVERY SINGLE ONE of us is entitled to Due Process of law. The instant that we make snap decisions and allow our police kill people they deem dangerous, without proper court proceedings, without proper safeguards, without the rule of law, our society has begun in a death spiral that will be impossible to escape. It may be hard, it may be emotional, it may take time, and cost money, but damn it, TRY THE GUY for his crimes. If a jury finds him guilty, then carry out the sentence. But, do not have police sell us their revenge package and call it justice. Because every single one of us become at risk with that kind of justice.

3) Fox News
Amid a few, lonely signs of rational thinking, (firing Palin, for example) Faux has outdone itself. It seems that they forgot who won the November election, and continue to treat our political process – no, I can’t find a valid comparison. But, as one telling example, Fox News’ Martha MacCallum and Brian Kilmeade learned of the 102 year old Desiline Victor’s voting problems. She was forced to wait in line for hours, as GOP plans to artificially suppress minority voters worked almost as planned.

The Fox spin readers’ response? On air? THEY LAUGHED AT HER. “What’s the big deal?”

4) Evangelical Groups seeking to kill LGBT in Ugana funded by the State
Even in a more socially fair and sophisticated country like Canada, the crazies still have too much control. Christian Crossroads receives money from Ontario to operate in Uganda – where they are working towards making homosexuality a crime punishable by death. Shame on you, Ontario, shame!

5) North Carolina
Despite having the highest unemployment rate in the country, this collection of jerks decided to cut some taxes for a few favored businesses, while also cutting unemployment benefits for the unemployed by 35%.

Yeah, let CEOs take home more money, while cutting the lives short for hundreds of thousands of people.

Who said The Onion Factor was sane?

6) GOP Behavior
Just a few years ago, John Kerry(D) was the target of tens of millions of attack ads, and personal attacks so disgusting and stomach turning, that even some GOPers were repulsed. Last week, the vast majority of the Senate voted to approve him as secretary of state.

Yesterday, the same GOP cretins decided to filibuster the president’s nominee for Secretary of War, Charles Hagel, a conservative Republican. Why? Hagel and AIPAC don’t care much for each other, and Hagel tends to speak his mind. (The second is by far, the greater sin).

The excuse the idiot party uses is Libya (a place that few of the senators could find on a map or a globe. Definitely not a globe, for several of them, since their world is flat and 6000 years old)and the unfortunate attack on a CIA- State Department outpost. After cutting funds to secure such places, the GOP now complains that those bases were too insecure.

Funny how so few of them demanded “answers” after 9/11, eh? Instead, they promoted the bimbo who held the chair for their president’s National Security Council. They also uniformly voted to invade the wrong country, and pushed for covering up torture and huge frauds committed by GOP contractors in Iraq.

There is so much more out there. Just pick up a national paper (too many of the regional ones have been raped by take over experts, and no longer do “news” and take a gander.

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