Donald Trump is a Plant

The more I watch the Donald perform his gig on air, the more I am convinced that he is a deliberately concocted, deliberately sold, and deliberately distracting plant.

What better way to seek the result you actually want?

First, you drive some of the nuts into distraction. Hucksterbee is going ever more to the Reich side, trying to find even his 15 seconds of fame, much less 15 minutes. As his folksy “charm” offensive becomes ever more transparent, silly, and just plain laughable, the huckster will finally hang up his angel wings and retire from Ye Olde Politicks. I just hope he makes it on the T&V this Thursday. 

Marco Rubio is both too inexperienced and too dumb to matter. Perhaps with the right seasoning, more pepper than salt, some onion, oregano, plus a bunch of cilantro (oops, it is all being recalled because of “Sam and Ella’s” new flavoring) and perhaps a tad of garlic, Rubio can develop into a W Clone, saying stupid shit, but without having the balls, the unmitigated arrogance, and stage presence to win despite multiple personal shortcomings.

Rick Perry? The best two things he has going for him are his new spectacles, and the knowledge that he is easily twice as smart as the man who replaced him. But NOT a serious candidate. Perry is fighting a fight on uneven terms. Most of the country is not Texan, and most of his competition is just as bad as he. 

Christ Chrissie? If his shenanigans of the past didn’t fuck his career forever, the fall out from his despicable Tunnel cancellation decision make his prospects, especially in the heavily populated NE of the country impossible. Christie’s latest, greatest effort at redemption? He has re-re-re-recreated himself as a friend of the commuter. AFTER he cancelled an absolutely critically necessary tunnel to ship hundreds of thousands of commuters on a daily basis. (Soon afterwards, he took the money and claimed the conservative throne because of that idiotic move) 

Squat Walker? I suspect that even his sugar daddies, or uncles, if your prefer, realize that he is seriously damaged goods, and no amount of their ill gotten gains can fix it all. Squat stoops to our direct north. Wisconsin used to be a state with great people, great cheese, better beer, and wonderful schools, especially its top notch university system. Scott’s turned the system into a “cystern.” Every union, excepting the police and fire morans who didn’t fully see our warnings as accurate, has had its present and future destroyed. The economy is now so bad, especially in comparison to states like Illinois or Minnesote, that Scott has been forced into out and out lying about his results. (Think Kansas, but without the funding by the Kochs).

Sanitorium? A frothy mix of religion, (who knows better than his pope, no less) stupidity, willful ignorance, and unyielding, unbending, fairy-tale based faith. I wonder just what sort of psychotropic medications could get rid of the voices in his head. If only he would seek decent psychiatric care under the ACA.

Ted Cruz controls a small segment of ideologically perverted voters, the kind who enjoy visiting grade schools, or crashing birthday parties for 9 year olds in public parks, while toting their Open Carry AK-47s. He cannot be stupid, not with his educational and professional pedigree. But, what could turn a man with some intellect into a braying mule-like jerk who manages to pick the wrong position on every major iissue?  I think there are three choices – A. he does it on purpose because he enjoys playing with people’s minds, and wonders just how far he could go before being found out; B. He really believes that spew he peddles;, or C. He suffers from a similar illness as Sanitorium.

 Bobby Jindahl – His candidacy has earned the following, weighty commentary: 

Lindsey Graham – I keep wondering what the people of his state are thinking, repeatedly keeping him in the senate. As substance goes, Lindsey is the kind of competitor that if he stands in the bright midday sun, he creates no shadow at all.

Rand Paul, Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina – A failed libertarian, a failed neurologist, and an extremely failed businessperson? the mind boggles.

That leaves T-Rump and JeBushBush.

What a brilliant move, if the rumor about JeBushBush is true – that he sent operatives to by hook or crook, convince the Donald that he could win. What a strategery –  knowing that all you have to do is stay back in the pack, gather unbelievably huge amounts of Citizen’s United  millions, exude confidence, keep quiet and above the fray (except when Hilary accurately calls you out and you react instinctively – ie, like an idiot) and wait until the Donald self-immolates or quits, or more likely fires himself because he realizes that his campaign resembles a floating turd in an un-flushed toilet far more than a presidential caliber candidate. The added bonus is with a hothead like The Donald, he, too, will be taking aim at Hilary, with often accurate and painful aim. In fact, his attacks on Hilary might even be supported by Bush-Leaks to Team Donald in secret.

So as The Donald starts eroding the invincible aura that she tried for years to create, who is the winner? JeBushBush.

There might be token resistance to The Donald by the most obvious GOP leaders, like the RNC, the RCCC, the RSCC, and their best traitorous friend, Debbie Whatshername Schultz who ACTUALLY SUPPORTS Florida GOP candidates over Democrats.

Yes, I can fully believe that Donald Trump is a plant. Soooo, From the Church of Ineffable Stupidity, let’s talk agriculture:

So, what sort of plant is the Donald?

My top bet is with the species ARECACEAE

This botanical family of perennial shrubs and trees more commonly known as palm trees.  They have flowering seasons, from routinely, to as much as 100 years between flowers. Like the Donald, the vast majority are restricted to tropical, subtropical, and warm temperate climates. And just like Donald’s hair, most palms are distinguished by their large, compound, evergreen fronds arranged at the top of an unbranched stem. As well as being morphologically diverse, palms inhabit nearly every type of habitat within their range, from rainforests to deserts, again like the Donald. Although he is selling his $21 million condo in NYC.

The next bet would be ROSACAEA

This botanical family is more commonly known as roses. They form a group of plants that can be erect shrubs, climbing or trailing with stems that are often armed with sharp prickles. Flowers vary in size and shape and are usually large and showy, in colours ranging from white through yellows and reds. In fact, grasping a Donald is no easier than grasping a thorny rose. Both will bite back. The problem is that while both roses and the Donald are superb at attracting attention, even at a distance, a rose uses its color, aroma, and natural beauty to grab your attention, while the Donald uses inane attacks, lies, deceit and more than anything, he relies on human nature to be attracted to a coming train wreck.

The last potential possibility would be PINACAEA

This botanical family includes the plants that we know as Pines. Woody, with an incredible variety of cone, leaf and seed characteristics, varieties can do as well in a blazing desert like Las Vegas as an ocean front area like the Jersey shore. Various species can survive in both temperate and subtropical regions of, where they are grown as timber or cultivated as ornamental plants in parks and gardens. Like the Donald too many of the introduced species have become invasive and threaten native ecosystems. Also like the Donald, the vast majority of Pines are notoriously thin skinned, somewhat sappy, and when exposed to too much heat, they can literally explode in flame.

What is that awful Stench?

What in the world is going on?

First, United stops all flights after its quite large computer network fails.

Next, NYSE stops all trading because its computers suffered some fault.

This comes after China(?) hacked multiple allegedly well protected federal computer systems over the past several months.

So what else is in the news? Greece, China, and the probable shutdown of the US government because of unfettered Teabuggery.

Let’s take Greece first. Austerity not only does not work, it actually makes things worse. The only word that describes what Austerity has done to Greece is “horrific.” And Merkel wants to make things worse. Piketty, and many others are waving a red flag in Merkel’s face, but she is color-blind, and immune to any outside advice. Her mind is made up, much like concrete that has already set.

Luckily for the US, our brush with disaster was limited (but we still suffered damage) when the mandated cuts in all federal spending actually took place. Almost everyone was shocked that the imaginary hammer actually fell in 2013. What we have now as the status quo, will stay with us, doing damage until 2021. Budget Sequestration was, is and will be a disaster for the US. Yet, we should survive, if only we do smart things like dropkick the F-35 in the process. Merkel’s Austerity solutions for Greece will be far worse, especially when one out of four Greeks are unemployed.

China? Wow. Shades of 1929. In the last few days, the huge, insular (ATM-based *) margin-festered Chinese stock market lost 30% of its value. At least 1,430 of the 2,776 companies traded in China which make up the Shanghai, have decided to pull their shares as markets continue their lemming-like march off the financial cliff.

We are talking TRILLIONS of dollars that have evaporated. An amount larger than the total GNP of the UK for an entire year.

The problem is compounded because the Chinese government deliberately permitted, even pushed, margin trading, with unbelievably easy terms (if the market rises). People who owned any asset, including a home, were able to double, triple, even quadruple their “bet” on the market by using their assets as collateral on a loan for the stock purchase. When the market value drops, those loans are due, wiping out hundreds of millions of families’ assets and destroying hundreds of thousands of small companies in the process.

Much like a Monty Python skit, (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink) everyone knew that the Chinese market was heavily over-inflated, and bore no factual relationship with their actual economy. Worse yet, the allegedly “thriving” parts of the economy (building new cities, new skyscrapers, and pouring concrete and laying steel) had run out of demand, while the pace of investment actually increased. Building an 80 story building in three weeks? Impressive, except when it remains empty.

Someone made out during this mess. Goldman Sachs clearly profited on both the start of the current Greek tragedy, swapping decent debt for crap, and now, like vultures picking and pecking among the corpses. It is likely that someone also profited from the Chinese disaster in the making.

The Greek Tragedy was a designed failure. The Chinese one, quite possibly was, too. (along with some really short-sighted policies from Beijing. The US govt. was seriously hacked. Today, United’s massive computers fail, AND the NYSE shuts down.

And now, the Wall Street Urinal is reporting that the US government will be shut down again, by the GOP.

Is there a pattern in the making here?

– – – – – – –

* The Chinese have used this latest market bubble, which was artificially created by margin investing, to fund various military, social, and democratic investments, but these have been badly directed, and unbelievably fraudulent and inefficient. Think of the margin investment as creating a giant ATM that Bejing has used as a source of free money. It cannot and will not last.

Religious freedom

Religious Freedom – What is it, exactly? The Urban Dictionary defines it this way:

A bullshit excuse used by conservatives and the religious right to justify using their beliefs as weapons to preach against others who don’t believe in what they do. They claim that their right to speech (hate and discriminate) against anything they find immoral or against their ideology should be protected and legalizing something like abortion or same-sex marriage would infringe on their rights and hurt their “religious freedom” (to hate).

Tom: So how’s everything going? Mike: Pretty damn good. I’m very happy. Tom: Niiice. Mike: Yeah, Scott and I have been together for almost 6 years now and it’s been amazing. I love him. Tom: … Mike: I think I’m going to ask him to marry me. Tom: WTF? That’s fucking gay! Mike: …Well, we are gay… Tom: That’s so wrong and nasty. I’m offended. God hates that gay shit, and it’s my religious freedom to not put up with your sin. Mike: …I’m sorry you feel that way. We’re not going to marry in a church. The county is going to marry us. Tom: Fuck that. That’s wrong and I don’t agree. Don’t forget to send me an invite, faggot. I’m going to be there with my posse to protest that shit. I’m a christian and you can’t force that gay shit on me.

 

 

Under the guise of their own freedom, Conservative Christians (also Muslims, and other cults) seem to be happy only when they make other people’s lives completely miserable. The idea that a collection of writings, stolen from basically illiterate, unread, unstudied, and uneducated goat herders 3,000 years ago creates a mandatory set of rules for modern society should be laughable – except it is not. They seriously believe the shit that they spread.

Actually, their deliberate mangling of the definition of “freedom” by joining it with “religious” is itself a perversion. In this case, a concept that some very bright men a few centuries ago rediscovered was called freedom of religion. They even put pen to paper and included it in our second version of this nation’s constitution. The Articles of Confederation failed because they resembled too much what Brownback is doing to his failing state of Kansas.

But even our forefathers were not the first. In fact, Lithuania’s Grand Duke Gedeminas was one of the first to actively apply the concept of freedom of religion. When he conquered huge swaths of territory, he had two rules that he applied, fairly and uniformly. So long as the conquered people admitted that he was their ruler, and submitted to his over all control, they could and would maintain not only their local leaders (whose gratitude at being alive was immense) and political structures, but would also keep their religions. His written edict allowing all subjects to choose and maintain their own faiths was revolutionary. And it caused Rome a great deal of distress. It also led to at least one sanctioned “crusade” in an effort to install and instill Lithuania with Christianity.

Religious freedom. How best to define it?

Regardless of which faith you observe or study, it seems clear that faith is the necessary underpinning of every religion. Faith has been defined as “a firm, probably unwarranted, belief in something for which there is no proof”. Without faith, religion simply cannot exist. This is as good a place to start as any other. Faith. Everyone seems to recognize it, but what is it? What is truly meant by the word Faith? You might have noticed that superstitions and faith are closely linked. In fact, there is no difference between the two. Faith = superstition.

Present day superstitions grew over the ages because our earth-bound hominids had these wonderful tools called brains. At least in most cases, although some people today may debate even that statement. (See generally, Michelle Bachmann and Mike Huckerbee) when the earth shook beneath our ancestors’ hairy, unshod feet, or when tidal waves destroyed hamlets and crude abodes, when mountains blew up and spread lava and ash for no particular reason, hominids were puzzled. And being puzzled and confused is uncomfortable for us, even today. So, they made shit up. Any serious study of religion shows just how its creation was an effort to answer the unanswerable, to explain, to illuminate the vast mental darkness that plagued all of our ancestors.

We are curious animals. We seek answers and reasons and discoveries. If a closed box is on a table, for most of us, our first instinct is to open it. For others, their first instinct is to might blow it up ( Dick Cheney) or wish to seal it forever because it contains mortal sins. ( See generally, any conservative, evangelical, or Baptist Church).

Because our brains are powerfully curious, if we don’t find rational answers easily, we make things up. Our brains find patterns where none existed. That one simple cranial mechanism caused all sorts of superstitions to arise, and eventually to become fool-blown religious movements. Only now has our technology grown to a point where real science can answer the hardest of questions.

Much of what we now know about the universe has been due to brilliant geniuses like Newton, Galileo, Einstein, Bohr, Fermi, not to mention brave philosophers who braved the wrath of the powers that were, to promote new perspectives and truths.

Partly because of the Cult of Christianity, and partly because we humans have fought too many faith-based wars, technology and discoveries have taken a longer path than necessary. Anti-science movements were incredibly strong from 500 AD through the middle of the 16th century. Unfortunately, this willful ignorance is raising its ugly head once again. In many ways, today’s Klown Kar Kandidates uniformly believe that their future (and therefore, ours) depends on religion taking its “proper place” in society.

Seriously, for you to really appreciate just how bad things are going and how they will affect our little iron rock – solely because of faith – you have to take the entire body of scientific, medical, engineering, analytical, and philosophical thought and set it aside, (many “believers” want to throw it out permanently) and replace it with a peculiar version of Christian dogma. While doing so, you must rely on “Faith” and ignore the religion’s bloody, dubious history, and the fact that its instruction manual was poorly and inaccurately translated and repeatedly interpreted from an archaic tongue so primitive that the creators of the language failed to discover or use punctuation marks or vowels.

For such mental misfits, religion is the only thing that will save humanity (and their GOP) from guaranteed ruin and utter chaos. Some religions leader (and at least two GOP presidential candidates) actually speak glowingly of Vlad Putin just because of his treatment of “teh gays.” That alone should be grounds to ban them permanently from and position of responsibility, power, or elected office. But, instead we see the unbelievable spectacle of 19 conservatives each trying to take ever more conservative positions and impose ever more extreme religious ideas and ideals. Except the dude with the rotating wives.

Today’s believers see troubled waters ahead. They see mega churches closing. They see empty pews, and the recognize that those who remain faithful are quite a bit older than the general population. The yute, it seems, are MIA and are quite unlikely to change their ways and begin to tithe and pray in those close-minded hellholes they call church. Much like their dwindling membership, churches are simply dying off.

The most conservative of today’s Christians claim that there exists a single Great and Powerful bearded sky-based god-like person (much like the man behind that curtain in Oz). According to their Faith, their god inexplicably missed out on the part about the universe being around for billions of years, with billions of galaxies, their billions of stars and countless inhabited planets. They insist that only the Christian version of creation is true, i.e., that their god created everything about 6,012 solar orbits ago. Out of his entire, immense and infinite universe, only this iron rock and its hominids are deemed worthwhile of god’s attention.

Luckily, these Christians weren’t too overly egotistical, or else they might have claimed that everything in the universe actually revolved around them and their pathetic little, flat rock. Oh, wait. They did make that claim. Some still cling to that idea.

Now, before you start pointing fingers and claim how silly this all seems at this point, you had better know that it gets much worse. Theirs is a history of deadly battles over language, translations, gospel selection, forgeries, canons, Gnostic ideas, cult wars, wars against nonbelievers, assassinations, murder, riots, torture and repeated acts of treachery. The current version of their biblical instruction manual has undergone numerous translations, editing, changes, even wholesale adapting.

Even in this modern, “enlightened age”, the most strident Christians claim that the version of their instruction manual you read today is completely “inerrant” (defined as incapable of containing errors or mistakes). According to them, the bible consists solely of the actual words that popped out of god’s mouth into the ears of some ancient Hebrew or Aramaic listeners. Because god himself was doing the talking, it was absolutely impossible for the human scribes to make any mistakes. The same theory applies to all the translations that followed. (Some in the bible belt believe that god actually dictated the book in Modern English, long before that language ever existed.)

In 1978, a group of the top evangelical “religious thinkers” (a prime example of an oxymoron, if there ever was one) gathered together to study this difficult “inerrancy” question. After much debate, even hostility, they issued the “Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy.” This lovely little document claims that because their instruction manual was “god-given”, “(it) is without error or fault in all of its teachings”, including about how the earth was created, all aspects of earth’s history, and even as to the creation of their fun-filled instruction manual itself.

Circular reasoning is defined as “the practice of assuming something in order to prove the very thing you assumed.” When a christian scholar claims that god exists and the bible is infallible – because it says so, that christian propagandist has achieved the pinnacle of circular reasoning. Their book claims it is true, therefore, everything must be measured by that warped yardstick. Voila!

Religious Freedom, at least today, means that a two part fairy tale must control your life and your life’s choices. Freedom, indeed.

If you really want to learn more about honest, modern, family values, the christian instruction manual is not exactly a good place to start your research. Today’s most serious practitioners rarely follow every word, even when they have the audacity to claim that every word is without error.

Most of them probably never read it cover to cover, much less analyze the true meaning of the verses. That helps explain why so many current christian practices and theories are so offensive to the intellect. It also helps explain why christians are so afraid of modern teaching. Today’s christianity is the last, best, refuge of anti-intellectual scoundrels and hypocrites.

In Leviticus 25:44, it says that males can own both male and female slaves, so long as they come from other countries or competing tribes. From other parts of the bible it is clear that female slaves had only one purpose, at least in their earlier, nubile, years. Sex.

This one statement was the cause of centuries of suffering, untold death, destruction and bloodshed all over the world, all in the name of god. If you were a person of color, with those words, this cult’s belief caused the destruction of your family, your freedoms and eventually, your life. But, hey, if you have enough Faith, and believe that holding other humans in bondage is merely god’s will, then there is very little evil that cannot be justified under their good book.

For many decades in early America, killing a slave wasn’t even considered to be a crime. Punishing them when, where and how you saw fit was your religious birthright. You master, he slave. There are many historical examples in which slave-owners successfully claimed that killing off your two-legged property was no worse than slaughtering a lame horse.

As late as the 1860s, Very Serious People (reminiscent of today’s Fox News regulars) argued that because the bible supported the idea of slavery, American had to maintain that abhorrent practice. All too often today’s Klown Kar Kandidates seem to use similar arguments to support their positions on same sex marriage, birth control, even their Koch-based economic policies.

If they were truly faithful, our society would look very, very different. Bleeding women tend to wreck havoc with men‘s sex lives. Lev. 15:19-24.
A horny male simply can’t touch them during their periods. Period. Perhaps that is why so many biblical heroes had numerous concubines and sexual playmates, not to mention, rape victims, lovers and multiple wives.

According to most of their instruction manual, men could pretty much decide with who and when they wanted to sleep. In Leviticus, females learn that sleeping with an in-law could get you burned at the stake.

Still, your own family members still have their uses. If you had too many financial debts and mortal sins to deal with, you could atone for many of your sins by selling your daughter into slavery. Exod. 21: 7. Instead of promoting ‘modern’ christian family values, the bible suggests the financial value of your christian family.

Even though most of today’s christian bigots claim that gays and lesbians commit moral and mortal sins, the bible is surprisingly free of such prohibitions. In fact, several biblical heroes were known for their love of all mankind. Claving and craving one another seemed to work out alright for them.

Their bible also controls your diet. It has all sorts of rules about eating. For example, oysters and mussels are a mortal sin; eating them is worse than having gay sex. Lev. 11: 10.

Unfortunately for the curious student, the bible remains silent about what happens to gays should they happen to swallow lobster or crabmeat before claving each other. Possibly earthquakes, tsunamis or hurricanes? No, Californian droughts!

How food is created is just as important. Just What Would Jesus Do about modern farming technology? Today, these christian Farmer John types had better stop with all of those evil new-fangled farming techniques. Like crop rotation.

According to their inerrant science guide, the mere planting of more than one crop in a field is a deadly sin. Lev. 19:19.

DeKalb, Pioneer and other seed companies manufacture and sell genetically modified grains, each of which have so many different traits, that they probably constitute entirely different crops. Does growing different strains of corn, soy and wheat mean that the farmer who dares grow these crops or the people who eat those products are sinning against god? And what about crop rotation and mixing crops to prevent insect and fungal infestation? Or to refresh the field by a judicious use of nitrogen producing plants? Are all modern farming techniques to be barred because of some ancient book? Oh, good. Let’s all starve in the name of their god.

How will the American farm industry react when farmers find themselves stoned to death simply because they experiment to decrease their reliance on herbicides and insecticides?
Probably the most interesting requirements center around Leviticus. One chapter makes some strong statements about about hair cuts, of all things. If you trim the hair around your ears, you will die. 19:27.

But back to religious freedom and faith. Even under the most minimal scrutiny, it is clear that “religious freedom” is anything but. Their sole purpose is to control what you can or cannot do, hardly the best example of freedom. The logical conclusion is that today’s GOP, it’s conservative Christian candidates, and the most extreme members of that party are either liars or hypocrites – more likely both.

Simply put, today’s alleged movement for religious freedom is little more than a fraud. A dangerous, destructive, and damaging fraud. What is striking today is just how strident their voices have become. 25 years ago, Sanitorium or a Huckerbee would have been laughed off the stage. A Rubio or a Cruz would have been laughing stocks. Instead, they are very serious candidates whose core beliefs are treated with kid gloves (can’t have pigskin just because) by our corporate owned media.

Religious Freedom is not just a fraud, it is the major underpinning of one of our major political parties, in a very sick and disgusting way.

Lettuce prey.

 

 

 

The problem that is Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Braking gnus:

It’s part of what DNC Communications Director called an “aggressive expansion” of the committee’s communications team heading into the election cycle, which will give Democrats a solid shot at taking back the Senate and holding onto the White House.
The DNC has hired Holly Shulman, who formerly served as spokeswoman for international affairs at the Treasury Department, as its new national press secretary, per a committee release. She worked as Obama’s New Hampshire press secretary in 2012 and has previously held communications roles in congressional and statewide races in Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania.

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Will the penny never drop? Or are you too greedy and self-absorbed to realize what a mess you made of the DNC?
I personally know of at least a dozen people who answered your recent survey by demanding that you be replaced. I guess we won’t see those poll results any time soon.

The core problem is that you not only mishandled the job, you actually have no clue on how to do it right.

New communications staff? THAT’S your solution?

Debbie, you pissed off every single Democratic voter with your approach last election season. Honestly, we did not want to learn how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, by totaling up sending trillions of e-mails your DNC sent, each of them more and more desperate, all demanding “Just $4 a month to save this election!” As though such tactics would change the election results. After receiving more than 40 such requests on one day, I began responding by dropping off each one of those lists.

It was, bar none, the worst approach to an election that I have ever witlessed. You not only fucked up the election, you actually supported GOPers over liberal candidates in Florida! That alone should have caused your termination.

So instead of facing up and owning up to your abject failure, instead of running a national campaign in every state and race, instead of cooperating and coordinating with the White House political staff, you went big . . . If self-dealing, greed, and ineffable stupidity constitute going big, then wow, you were successful.

And despite a horrific track record, your answer is to hire more communications staff? Seriously? I have no doubt that they may be talented, effective at their jobs, and might have some good ideas. But the basic problem is the rot at the top of the organization. There simply is no getting around the fact that you suck as DNC chair.

If you really want to serve, if you really want what is best for the DNC, the democratic party and the nation, resign. Please.

Papal Crimes and Misdemeanors

In some ways, both too much and too little is being made of the sex abuse crimes committed by Catholic priests around the world. From Poland to China, from Ireland to New York, from Los Angeles to Sao Paolo, priests routinely destroyed the lives of innocent little boys and girls.

Until 2005, the person who controlled every case, every claim, every piece of litigation around the world was Cardinal Ratzinger. To save electrons, I will simply call him the Rat.

The recent document release in Los Angeles again proves how closely the Rat followed each case, and controlled the actions of local officials.

While child abuse may be salacious and seedy, simply mentioning it in connection with the Rat may be good enough for MSM, but the Papal crimes go far deeper.

His resignation (something almost as rare as prayers being answered) is the fourth in the church’s 2000 year history of blood, war, murder, crusades, torture, and abuse. Perhaps that voice he heard telling him to resign was an echo of an abused’s child’s cry, as a well protected priest repeatedly sodomized and abused the kid.

 

From the Church of Ineffable Stupidity:

Let’s break down the crimes and misdemeanors into three groups. Even one of these should have been enough to cause the shut down of this evil organization. But all three?

1. A bloody, terrifying, and deadly history:

1099 – The First Crusade
Under Pope Urban’s orders, thousands of muslims, pagans, and excommunicated people were killed by Catholic crusaders. The devastation caused by the Pope’s troops caused future starvation and major loss of life.

1312 – Knights Templar
Pope Clement the V sought to enrich himself by concocting lies, murdering most of the leaders of the Knights, and stealing their lands, riches, and treasures. In doing so, he destroyed the first international banking system.

1545 – the Massacre of Merindol
Pope Paul decides to eradicate 24 villages which were populated by protestants. Thousands were killed, including women and children. The Pope pardons those involved.

1572 –  St. Bartholomew’s Massacre
Under the french crown’s orders, with strong papal support,  30,000 Huguenauts were murdered by Catholic goon squads, because of their protestant beliefs. The pope wrote and congratulated the french king on his success. Pope Gregory XIII issued a medal celebrating the murders, which was awarded to anyone who killed sufficient numbers of non-catholics.

1626-1631 – Bamberg Massacre
German catholics embark on non-stop witch hunts, causing the deaths of hundreds of innocents. German towns suffered greatly under the Church, with at least two towns having most women over the age of 30 being exterminated due charges of witchcraft.

I won’t bother mentioning the crusades to the Iberian Peninsula, used to clear out indigenous scientists, scholars, poets and scribes who made the mistake of being Muslim. I will ignore the Eastern European crusades, which wiped out indigenous tribes and cultures. And, temporarily, let’s forget about the later crusades to Save Jerusalem from its Own Peoples.

With this kind of history, how can anyone think that this organization is an asset to humanity?

2. Banking Scandals: Money laundering, drug dealing, arms trade

This topic alone could take volumes to describe. Remember Banco Ambrosiano, a Vatican scandal that led to the murders of bankers, witnesses, prosecutors, and blackmail by the Church and its mafia friends?  This scandal exploded in the 1980s.

Banco Ambrosiano was known as the Pope’s bank, or the Vatican’s bank. It provided criminal organizations an easy path to launder money and to transfer great sums to certain friends. Unsavory investments and worse went forward, When the Banco finally collapsed, records of financial support and bribery to both sides of the Nicaraguan revolution was tied to the Vatican. It profited from selling arms used in the killing of thousands.

Because laundering money was so profitable, the Vatican Bank stepped up and fill the shoes of Banco. Once again, criminal organizations, international drug dealers, arms dealers – often involving enemies of Italy and NATO, had a way to transfer huge amounts of money without US or Euro knowledge or oversight.

Money laundering for the Mafia, drug lords, weapons dealers, perhaps even terrorist states, and extremely questionable dealings by the Roman Curia were uncovered as recently as July, 2012. The man behind the crimes and their stonewalling cover-ups is the current  Vatican Secretary of State Tarcisio Bertone. Not only does he double deal on the world political stage, he has his sticky fingers on the 7-8 Billion euros that are directly controlled by the Vatican. This does NOT include income, capital gains, or real estate investments.

There is no indication that the Vatican Bank and the Sec. of State have changed their ways since the 1980s, when the corrupt Milanese banker Robert Calvi and the mafia financier Michele Sidona were found to be dealing with drug dealers, weapons sales (to groups directly opposed to NATO interests), and other fascinating, corrupt practices. When one avenue for  crimes was ended because of the Banco collapse, (under Archbishop Paul Marcinkus) the Vatican simply moved its dirty dealings to two accounts at JP Morgan Chase, opened by the Vatican Bank.

Millions of Vatican dollars were deposited to one account in Milan, then transferred (and laundered) in another JP Morgan account in Germany, effectively erasing the trail of how the Vatican originally got the funds. After Italian police froze tens of millions of dollars in the Milan account, the Vatican pled, bribed, stonewalled, and pushed for the the re-openning of that account and release of those funds. Eventually Italy agreed to release the funds it froze, but it refuses to put the Vatican Bank back on the list of approved banks. In simpler terms, the Vatican Bank is still so dirty and connected with mob, drug, and arms dealing money, that not even the Italian Government allows it to do business with it, or allows it to do international business.

There is no way around the fact that the Vatican Bank invested in, profited from, and did everything possible to keep its many ties to crime and heavy duty criminals quiet. Many groups currently blowing up parts of our allies’ cities might have been armed and supported by the Vatican.

3. Rev. Marciel Maciel, Ireland. Poland. Spain. Los Angeles. Milwaukee. New York. Chicago. Milwaukee. Boston. Las Vegas (where catholic churches actually outnumber casinos) Rio. Mexico City. Beijing. Toronto. Boston. Germany. France.

The list of cities and countries currently investigating the Church’s sexual abuse of children continues to grow. The worst thing about it? How The Rat ran the office in charge of these crimes from 1982 to 2005. EVERY decision, every destruction of documents, every hidden witness, or transferred witness, every legal stance taken by the church in every country was approved and ordered by the Rat. His sole goal was to protect the accused, and to hide evidence. Never did he care for the kids whose lives were ruined.

The US Catholic church boasts of having 60 million sheeple. More than 100,000 children were sexually abused by this criminal organization – according to its own records!  Child Abuse statistics from the Catholic Church. The church admits that in the US alone, there were 6,195 priests who actively sexually abused children. Many of these criminals REMAIN ACTIVE as priests in the USA.

Any organization that cherishes, protects, and employs 6,000+ active criminals is not a holy institution. It is a criminal organization.

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It would take a brave politician indeed to question the continued coddling and protection that Church has received from state and federal governments. Its tax free status, its huge land holdings through out the USA (it remains the biggest landowner in Chicago, sometimes secretly owning great swaths of the Loop and lakeside properties) and its manipulation of the bankruptcy laws should shock the conscience of any ethical human. But this church is not ethical.

As recently as 2003, high ranking Vatican members celebrated the hiding of child abusing priests and the destruction of documents. Here are the immoral words of just one such Vatican cardinal, Dario Castrillon Hoyos, thanking a bishop for his coverup:

I congratulate you for not denouncing a priest to the civil administration. You have acted well and I am please to have colleagues in the episcopate who, in the eyes of history and all other bishops in the world, preferred prison to denouncing his son and priest.

 

Take Milwaukee, for example. The Archdiocese faced more than 200 claims, involving several priests. So it transferred the culprits, without warning the new parishes of the priests’ abuse history. Faced with growing numbers of complaints, and seeing a great opportunity to screw the victims one more time, the archdiocese transferred tens of millions of dollars in assets to a small cemetery in Milwaukee, allegedly funding its upkeep. Given the small size and low cost of upkeep, this transfer keeps the cemetery in shape for more than a thousand years. And it keeps the millions out of the hands of those greedy little children who dared attract those innocent priests.
Luckily, the tide is turning. Recently,  Illinois and Minnesota withdrew their statutes of limitation on sexual child abuse crimes, and New York is actively working its own statute. BY withdrawing these bars to civil recovery, victims who frequently covered up and hid their own abuse can finally seek some remedy, even though the abuse likely scarred them for life.

As for this new pope, Francis? According to attorneys on the street, those involved in child abuse litigation, nothing has changed. The same hardball tactics, the same reluctance to comply with discovery, and the same insulting approach to the victims continues unabated.

Monster Beverage hires some Experts

Breaking News: Dateline NEW YORK — “Monster Beverage is hitting back at a lawsuit alleging its energy drinks were responsible for the death of a 14-year-old Maryland girl, saying that no blood test was performed to confirm that the girl died of “caffeine toxicity.” The disclosure comes amid intensifying scrutiny of energy drinks and their caffeine levels. A lawsuit filed last year by the family of Anais Fournier said the girl went into cardiac arrest after drinking two, 24-ounce cans of Monster drinks in a 24-hour period.

At least five deaths since July, 2012, were attributed to Monster consumption by teens.
FROM THE CHURCH OF INEFFABLE STUPIDITY:
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In unrelated news, ten years ago, the FDA announced that carbonated beverages containing caffeine could not contain more than 65 mgs per can, especially when sold in carbonated form. The only exception were beverages intended solely to provide massive caffeine doses, such as Vivrin. Such drinks were designed for over-the-road CDL drivers who conveniently forgot about US-DOT’s limitation on hours of service. Vivrin and similar drinks contain no more than 200 mgs per daily dose.

Since the GOP managed to fuck over ejukashun programs across the country, starting with Leave No Childs Behind, and ending with efforts to teach Creationism and Intelligent Design as real, honest, god-given Science, (with a capital C), it is no surprise that illiteracy has become a way of life for growing numbers of Tea Bagger members and their offspring.

Following closely behind is Innumeracy. For those unaware of this mental deficiency and unable to find a dictionary on their computer, someone suffering from Innumeracy is defined as “A person who is unfamiliar with mathematical concepts and methods.”

By “mathematical concepts and methods” I mean basic arithmetic, subtraction, and multiplication of digits no greater in length than two. Division, fractions, and percentages create a Brave New World which such sufferers recognize as alien and strange, something to be ignored in the hopes that it goes away. For example, to a TeaBuggered sufferer of Innumeracy, if you threatened them with a course in advanced arithmetic, and said, “Here’s Lesson One,” most of them would suspect that you were talking about “Zero.”

Applying basic math to Monster, two of their drinks would have approximately EIGHT FUCKING TIMES the amount of caffeine that the FDA considered the maximum more than a decade ago.

I am sure that none of the sponsors or manufacturers ever attended a Rave, or any teen-based get together. It would be impossible to predict that in the heat of the dance, or a great hormone-raging party, that your functionally illiterate and innumerate teen would recognize that drinking two Monsters could be fatal. That doing so put 8 times the recommended maximum dose of a powerful drug into your bloodstream. That Caffeine can kill in relatively high doses. That kids do stupid things on a dare. That kids, and even adults, are incapable of recognizing dangers that might be hidden on a drink label or warning. That by aiming their advertising at teen kids, they are creating a potentially deadly mix of party, ‘coolness,’ drink, and death.

Luckily, Monster, Inc talked to Big Tobacco, Asbestos manufacturers, and BP, and learned from them which medical group they used to procure “experts” necessary for them to defend their product from any rational attacks. Watch those same prostitutes offer a defense which mentions free enterprise, “not our fault!”, “they could easily swallow a bottle of aspirin”, and  the scientific proof is sorely missing, as topics.
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In more unrelated news, the family of 14 year old, Anais Fournier, is the family that filed suit against Monster Beverage, Inc. Their daughter attended a party, drank two Monster drinks, and died of cardiac arrest. Monster’s defense? It is impossible to die of Caffeine Toxicity. It’s not our fault. Our product is innocent, safe, and pop-(profitable)-ular.

bastards.

On edit, one reader emailed me and asked about the Famous “Fox Effect” on today’s yute. While I certainly agree that anyone watching Fox News eventually suffers from cognitive difficulties, because the average viewer of Fox News is in excess of 73.2 years of age, I doubted that Fox and fiends has any impact on drinkers of Monster.

The Onion Factor

In some future history book, or more likely, an iHistory App, a century from now, people will look back at our era and point to us, right here and now, as the day. To be more precise, “THE DAY!”  Historians, social scientists, psychologists and other mental health experts of all stripes will look at all of the events transpiring, exchange looks, nod wisely and agree, “This is When The Onion Factor Began.”

With all apologies to the Onion, when I skimmed over my daily papers (yes, I still like the rubbed ink smears, especially with cross words, and even crosser numbers like Sudoku), then switched to my early morning news feeds, I realized something that jarred me rather fiercely.

I could no longer tell the difference between the Onion and actual media outlets.

Here’s are just a few examples:

1) Freedumb works on porn?
You all know by now who Freedom Works is – a ultra-reich wing outlet that the Koch Brothers and others have used to astroturf the TeaBuggerers. Their performance in the last election cycle ranged between pathetic and laughable, and still their presence is like a rotting elephant’s corpse in the corner. Their very threat of interference leaves formerly solid re-election bets like Mitch McConnell shivering in their britches. Because McConnell doesn’t scream “NO!” loudly enough in Pres. Obama’s face.

The TeaBuggered billionaire outlet, proving again that money and wisdom rarely mix, apparently has a bit of a PR problem.

First, Dick Armey resigned, made threats, then walked away with $6 million in hush money from them. Next, we learn that Matt Kibbe, Freedom Works’ president, used FW resources, staff and money to “write” a book while he was supposedly working for FW. He then spent six figures of FW money to raise the book’s profile artificially (Amazon, etc) and kept all of the book’s revenues for himself.

In most states, that’s considered criminal fraud.

Amazingly, it gets better. They invested untold sums of money in video-taping a porn flick. Yes, the organization that proudly calls itself a natural ally of American Family Association and christian conservatives around the country, FW actually filmed a porn flick involving a female in a panda suit servicing a Faux Hilary Clinton with oral sex.

As I said, we have achieved the Onion Factor.

2) LAPD
No matter how badly they act, no matter how gruesome their crimes, the LAPD manage to outdo themselves.

I abhor violence, and the idea of a crazy former cop running around kidnapping and shooting people is extremely disturbing. BUT – they found this guy’s wallet and ID at another crime scene. They corner this rat, and burn down the cabin – with him inside. And then, they claim that his drivers license helped ID him? This guy loses his wallet and ID, there’s a state wide police hunt going on, and he worries about being stopped while driving without his license? AND the license survived the fire? AND they just happened to bring dental records before the fire started “to help with ID?”

Everyone, EVERY SINGLE ONE of us is entitled to Due Process of law. The instant that we make snap decisions and allow our police kill people they deem dangerous, without proper court proceedings, without proper safeguards, without the rule of law, our society has begun in a death spiral that will be impossible to escape. It may be hard, it may be emotional, it may take time, and cost money, but damn it, TRY THE GUY for his crimes. If a jury finds him guilty, then carry out the sentence. But, do not have police sell us their revenge package and call it justice. Because every single one of us become at risk with that kind of justice.

3) Fox News
Amid a few, lonely signs of rational thinking, (firing Palin, for example) Faux has outdone itself. It seems that they forgot who won the November election, and continue to treat our political process – no, I can’t find a valid comparison. But, as one telling example, Fox News’ Martha MacCallum and Brian Kilmeade learned of the 102 year old Desiline Victor’s voting problems. She was forced to wait in line for hours, as GOP plans to artificially suppress minority voters worked almost as planned.

The Fox spin readers’ response? On air? THEY LAUGHED AT HER. “What’s the big deal?”

4) Evangelical Groups seeking to kill LGBT in Ugana funded by the State
Even in a more socially fair and sophisticated country like Canada, the crazies still have too much control. Christian Crossroads receives money from Ontario to operate in Uganda – where they are working towards making homosexuality a crime punishable by death. Shame on you, Ontario, shame!

5) North Carolina
Despite having the highest unemployment rate in the country, this collection of jerks decided to cut some taxes for a few favored businesses, while also cutting unemployment benefits for the unemployed by 35%.

Yeah, let CEOs take home more money, while cutting the lives short for hundreds of thousands of people.

Who said The Onion Factor was sane?

6) GOP Behavior
Just a few years ago, John Kerry(D) was the target of tens of millions of attack ads, and personal attacks so disgusting and stomach turning, that even some GOPers were repulsed. Last week, the vast majority of the Senate voted to approve him as secretary of state.

Yesterday, the same GOP cretins decided to filibuster the president’s nominee for Secretary of War, Charles Hagel, a conservative Republican. Why? Hagel and AIPAC don’t care much for each other, and Hagel tends to speak his mind. (The second is by far, the greater sin).

The excuse the idiot party uses is Libya (a place that few of the senators could find on a map or a globe. Definitely not a globe, for several of them, since their world is flat and 6000 years old)and the unfortunate attack on a CIA- State Department outpost. After cutting funds to secure such places, the GOP now complains that those bases were too insecure.

Funny how so few of them demanded “answers” after 9/11, eh? Instead, they promoted the bimbo who held the chair for their president’s National Security Council. They also uniformly voted to invade the wrong country, and pushed for covering up torture and huge frauds committed by GOP contractors in Iraq.

There is so much more out there. Just pick up a national paper (too many of the regional ones have been raped by take over experts, and no longer do “news” and take a gander.